The 3 Types of Growth

An unfinished concept I've wrestled with since January

There’s a concept I’ve been wrestling for months now.

It started as a discussion with a friend of mine — a pediatrician — who’s exploring a business for himself. We were talking about the types of transformations work like his or mine deliver.

When your work is helping other people, your main job is to deliver some kind of change that makes a meaningful difference in someone else’s life - a transformation - that takes them from current state to desired end goal.

As we explored what he wants to do in his business, we sifted through the journeys a helper can take someone on. Each of these journeys have different value propositions from a business perspective, but more importantly, reflect the fact what drives transformation can be different for everyone.

When you understand which journey you’re on, it shapes the questions you ask, what you invest in, what you consider success, and what gnaws at you.

Recognizing the motives that are fueling your behavior allows you to unlock a next, better version of yourself.

The question is: what are the journeys and how are they different?

As I got deeper into this question, I landed on a framework I’m still exploring — the 3 paths of self-development.

Path 1: Self-Discovery (Who Am I?)

If you’re interested in finding your core values, developing your identity, or understanding how your past drives your future - this is the journey you’re on.

You might believe this is the first journey you have to go on to get to the next two. I’m not so sure.

This journey is about figuring out the deeply ingrained patterns and aspects of your identity that drive your behavior today. It’s not about changing who you are or redirecting who you want to become, but simply knowing yourself and being aware of yourself in a way you aren’t today.

It’s a journey about understanding - but insight doesn’t always compute to action.

I think that most people believe this is the most important journey to go on. There’s an ingrained belief in our culture that you have to know yourself before you can do anything like love someone else or raise a kid. Our culture is also fascinated with insight and deep meaning, which certainly are valuable but don’t always facilitate change.

My theory is that this journey is great for a majority of people to go on, but that most of those people will also stop here once they have a sense of who they are. It feels rewarding to know yourself more, and that reward alone once reached may be enough for people to then slow down, settle in, and live their life with more complete awareness.

Since this is a publication about greatness, it’s important to know that this journey and type of settling in won’t get you there.

Path 2: Self-Definition (What Can I Produce?)

The second is a journey focused on outcomes. It’s about seeing what you can do in the world, how famous you can become, or how much money you can make.

It’s a journey about creating an identity for yourself based on the outcomes of today and tomorrow.

This is the journey I see a lot of athletes on - and the occasional executive. Rather than learning about themselves or becoming the best they can, they’re focused on getting the next contract or the best exit. They let this outcome define their success and dominate their thoughts.

I also see this with founders. They focus on the exit and how big their company can be, not who they’re becoming running their company or how to become the best CEO they can be. Their business scoreboard drives their decisions and actions.

Path 3: Self-Actualization (How Can I Become My Best?)

The final journey is one to become the highest, best version of yourself.

This is the journey the all-time greats go on, that their slightly-less-elite counterparts can’t seem to get right.

It’s LeBron James setting the scoring record by focusing on becoming the best player he could be, or Tom Brady winning 7 titles by emphasizing becoming his best at each stop.

This is a consistent thread amongst the best.

Now, the way I’ve framed this makes it seem like this is the journey you should be on. But that is not the case. Some people don’t actually want to become their best. They want the big outcome or they want to know who they are, without worrying about optimizing who they can be. There’s nothing wrong with that.

Each path just leads to different destinations with different obstacles along the way.

Which one are you on?

As I’ve said throughout this piece, there’s really no right or wrong journey.

But, knowing which one you’re on can help you do the key thing required for any transformation: be honest with yourself.

I believe that ultimately, the world’s best performers end up with some combination of the 3.

They first embark on a quest to know themselves. Once they feel grounded in their identity, they shift to an emphasis on becoming the best version of themselves. But while doing that, they keep an eye on what they can produce. They use it as a way to measure their improvement, instead of a marker of their worth (like those who skip the “become your best” journey fall prey to).

Perhaps one of our errors is thinking that we need to do these journeys linearly or that they’re in some way mutually exclusive.

Whichever transformation you’re on will determine how you approach self-improvement today. But in the long run, you’ll need some form of each for you to fully realize your potential. Greatness isn’t as simple as knowing yourself or as simple as the numbers on a scoreboard.

The real value here is knowing what game you’re playing.